Today’s sermon title came about in a convoluted way, Fruitful Mission. Lately, it felt like not only has my spiritual life been unfruitful but I also felt like I was experiencing mission failure. You see, I have felt so tired. Burnt out. Ready to throw in the towel as a ministry leader. Why? Well, it wasn’t this. It wasn’t sharing what I felt the Holy Spirit leading me to teach. No. It wasn’t that. It wasn’t our congregation who faithfully show up each week. The people who come together for each other. The people who truly live out what it means to be a Jesus follower. No. It wasn’t them. Then why? Why after nearly three years did I start feeling like this? Three years of church planting. Heck, it is over three years really. We didn’t start meeting until we were legally recognized as a non-profit. We started doing that in June of 2022, the paperwork. We got legal status in December of that year. It was tough. But we did it. So why?
Over the last six months or so, I think I’ve struggled the most because of a couple factors. Ok maybe more than a couple. One being that I work fifty hours a week in the nursing field. People call this bi-vocational. On top of that, I use to constantly work on advertising for Christ’s Redemption Church (CRC). Many of you found us through those ads. I wouldn’t put my phone or laptop down. I was ON 24/7. I pulled back from that heavily over the summer. That caused a massive burnout but not enough to push me fully over the edge. But it didn’t help.
Another stone that fell away for me is being a leader. You see, I LOVE pastoring. I don’t love policy making. I don’t like making or enforcing rules. I don’t like upsetting people. I don’t like having to disagree even with our Elders. It happens often even with my own spouse. It’s not fun. And I think I let myself get too focused on the “don’t likes”. The hardships. I forgot the cost it takes to be a follower of Jesus. What it means to walk in anointing. I forgot many things really. I let the wilderness overtake me before I even realized. I let my cup run dry. Let’s read about that in one of my favorite Psalms, some of you probably are so familiar with it you can recite it from memory.
‘ The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures; he leads me beside still waters; he restores my soul. He leads me in right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD my whole life long.’
Psalms 23:1-6
“…you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.” Notice how the verse about the cup doesn’t say it pours from a full cup. It doesn’t pour from a half full cup. And it sure doesn’t say you can pour from an empty cup. Right? That math doesn’t math. No. What does it say? It says it overflows from the cup.
I had this conversation with Elder Curtis recently. You can’t pour from what’s IN your cup. It has to be from your excess. To pour out into your congregation you need the excess. But ya’ll my cup was running dry. How could I pour any more when I was parched? I was thirsty. I was lost. Wandering in the dry barren desert. What have we learned about the wilderness? What does it represent?
For me, I was stuck in the spiritual desert. A space of in between. I let myself get trapped there. I let my spiritual life suffer. I lost sight of the mission, the anointing God set me on. But why am I telling you all this now? Well, I am working my way BEYOND the wilderness.
I spoke with Elder Chris about my struggles. He has seen me through this dryness before. Maybe not this bad but still. He reminded me of what Jesus did in the garden of Gethsemane. He took to solitude. He prayed. Alone. Just him and God the Father. That’s what I needed to do. I needed to get into a space where I could be uninterrupted. Just me and God. But where? My entire life is never alone. I don’t have my own space for that. That’s the problem isn’t it?
So, I began brainstorming. Did you know that I am obsessed with monastic life? How their entire existence is devoted to prayer. I envy their way. They have set times of the day where they gather together in communal prayer. No interruptions. Just them and God. I knew of places that offer a modernized version of that. And so, I set out on a mission.
I have a decent relationship with the Episcopalians. I was raised Roman Catholic so some of their services are familiar to me. They are also LGBTQ+ affirming so that’s a big win. I, however, didn’t want to go to their usual service. I didn’t want socialization. The music. I wanted quiet. Reverence in hushed prayers. I found that in St. John’s Chapel last Sunday morning. It was small, ancient, and just what I needed. I prayed. I meditated on God’s word. And I got poured into. My cup isn’t full yet. But it is no longer empty.
During the service, the topic was of Jesus’ baptism. It was pointed out how Jesus lined up to submit to be fully submerged. He didn’t have to wait with those sinful people. He didn’t need to be cleansed. But he was in the midst of them. He chose to walk the path that God the Father ordained for him from the very beginning. And isn’t that the point? Jesus kept pouring out even in the wilderness. Even when the enemy, Ha-Satan tried to test him? The ACT of pouring out into others, that’s just it. That is the definition of disciple making.
‘Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit and teaching them to obey everything that I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”’
Matthew 28:19-20
This is my mission. OUR mission as Christians. But what is NOT our mission?
Giving up.
Burnout.
Disobeying the commandments of our Lord.
Judging others.
Judging ourselves.
‘ “Do not judge, and you will not be judged; do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven; give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap, for the measure you give will be the measure you get back.” ‘
Luke 6:37-38
“…running over…the measure you give will be the measure you get back.” Now, if we are truly on mission. The call that Jesus set the compass towards. How will we know? How will it manifest?
‘ By contrast, the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, ‘
Galatians 5:22
“My cup overflows.” That is the result of good fruit. Of a healthy prayer life. Of pouring into your own cup so that you have excess to pour into others. To obey Jesus’ GREAT COMMISSION. To make disciples. Good fruit. To be on mission. But we…I…can’t do it alone. We are never meant to.
So, this is a call to action. For you as well as for myself. I want each of us to diligently pray and seek out God. Get into a prayer closet, room, car, chapel, or altar. Anywhere that you can be un-disturbed. And pray like the warriors I know we are. I then want you to ask God who He wants you to pour your excess into. Ask God to guide you by the Holy Spirit, who literally abides within you. Who does He want you to disciple? Who should you encourage? Walk with? Who should you listen to? Who should you meet where they are? Pray for? Who do you know that you can help light the way to Jesus? Just one person. One mission. The Great Commission. That will produce good fruit in our lives.
So don’t let your cup run dry. Get to praying and pouring.
Amen.
Behind the scenes
I wrote this sermon at one in the morning. I have been through a lot of prayer and honestly thought this piece would turn out very different than how it did. But that’s life with God. He will give you breadcrumbs. And when you finally see the whole picture it’s way more than bread. It’s a whole meal.
I am truly trying to get my prayer life on track. I am adopting a monastic way of life, sort of. I pastor on Saturday nights while I go into prayer Sunday mornings. If I need some extra juice I plan to go to that chapel on a week day before work as well. I need to pour into myself because I was spiraling big time.
Pastoring or working in ministry is incredibly difficult. You are under constant spiritual attack and pressure, be it from yourself or others. But God will help you find a path, he will guide you to sure footing. Even if the path is different than you wanted, expected, or was praying for. He will still help you find that path and will light the way.
I may share my prayer journey with you all as I discover what does or doesn’t work for me. Currently, I am waiting for the Book of Common Prayer to arrive. It is from the Episcopal church. It has adopted the Orthodox and Roman Catholic daily offices that their monks use. I plan to adopt it into my life to see if this helps create a better prayer rhythm for myself. I will keep you posted.
Until next time.
Pastor Alex